Blog Post

New Age Divorce: Conscious Uncoupling

Gwyneth Paltrow's separation from her husband of 10 years, Chris Martin, introduced the world to the New Age movement's definition of divorce - "conscious uncoupling."

Say what?

Yes, you read it right. In her statement, Paltrow explains that she and hubby Chris will "consciously uncouple and coparent" from here on.

This isn't surprising for Paltrow, who once said: “I was starting to hike up the red rocks, and honestly, it was as if I heard the rock say, ‘You have the answers. You are your teacher.’ I thought I was having an auditory hallucination.”

So it's not surprising that she would let her lifestyle guru, Dr. Habib Sadeghi, explain her rather strange idea of divorce.

Sadeghi is a D.O. who founded the Beehive of Healing in Los Angeles which provides revolutionary healing protocols that include anthroposophical (occult) and a blend of Western medical and intuitive Eastern healing modalities.

So it's no surprise that he would explain a conscious uncoupling as "the ability to understand that every irritation and argument was a signal to look inside ourselves and identify a negative internal object that needed healing," he wrote with his wife,  Dr. Sherry Sami  (an orthodontist).

The couple say that every pet peeve and bit of resentment is "just the echo of an older emotional injury."

"From this perspective, there are no bad guys, just two people, each playing teacher and student respectively."

According to Sadeghi, we humans weren't meant to be faithful to the same person for very long.

"For the vast majority of history, humans lived relatively short lives—and accordingly, they weren’t in relationships with the same person for 25 to 50 years. Modern society adheres to the concept that marriage should be lifelong; but when we’re living three lifetimes compared to early humans, perhaps we need to redefine the construct. Social research suggests that because we’re living so long, most people will have two or three significant long-term relationships in their lifetime."

He continues: "To put in plainly, as divorce rates indicate, human beings haven’t been able to fully adapt to our skyrocketing life expectancy. Our biology and psychology aren’t set up to be with one person for four, five, or six decades. This is not to suggest that there aren’t couples who happily make these milestones—we all hope that we’re one of them. Everyone enters into a marriage with the good intention to go all the way, but this sort of longevity is the exception, rather than the rule. It’s important to remember too, that just because someone is still married doesn’t mean they’re happy or that the relationship is fulfilling. To that end, living happily ever after for the length of a 21st century lifetime should not be the yardstick by which we define a successful intimate relationship: This is an important consideration as we reform the concept of divorce."

Good grief.

I've read a lot of New Age hogwash in my day, but this one ranks right up there with the belief that water can remember everything that ever touched it and that a 35,000 year old warrior named Ramtha is giving words of wisdom to a housewife in Tacoma, Washington.

I can only hope that the children of this marriage, Apple, 8, and Moses, 7, are able to "consciously uncouple" their parents without sustaining the deep emotional scars common in children of divorce.

Let's keep this family in our prayers!