Here They Come! Another Round of Bad Horoscopes

astrologyThey’re back – those useless 2014 horoscope predictions that somehow manage to garner millions of readers.

Take mine, for instance. I’m supposedly a “Leo”, and my horoscope for 2014 is full of warnings about how I need to watch how I express myself because the “stars” are calling for me to experience a lot of irritation and impatience this year. But don’t despair! My “significant other” is going to be right there at my side, “nurtured” by my “sweet speech”.

Is this stuff for real? I experience irritation and impatience with something just about every day. For instance, we just had the seventh snowfall of the season (and it’s only January) and I can’t even see my car right now, let alone use it to get anywhere. Yes, that’s irritating. And I suspect I’m going to get very impatient when I finally dig my way out just as the snowplow comes through and plows me in again.

Poor Geminis also got a so-so prediction for this year and were warned to “watch for tempers and try to not let irritations get the best of you.”

Contrast this with the happy predictions being given to Pisces this year who are being told to upgrade their “love nests” by exploring the superstition-strewn Feng Shui to determine where to place their new furniture so as to “improve the energy” of their home.

If only people knew that horoscopes are about as reliable as the guys I used to date (you can read about them here).

In fact, this “science” is so bogus not even the zodiac signs are correct. As Father Mitch Pacwa explains in his book, Catholics and the New Age, the actual zodiac is an imaginary circle around the ecliptic of the earth’s annual trip around the sun which astrologers divide into 12 equal sections of 30 degrees each. However, real science tells us that the actual degrees of the constellations range anywhere from 7.0 to 37.5.

“This unevenness means the month ascribed to each ‘sun sign’ in newspaper columns does not correspond to the easily verified scientific data about the real amount of time the sun lies within the constellations,” Father Pacwa writes.

And, according to astronomers, because the actual belt (ecliptic) of the zodiac has altered its former relationship to the earth by about 36 degrees west, “Everyone’s astrological sign is different from the claims of the newspapers and books,” Father Pacwa writes.

“This means that everyone needs to change the astrological sign under which he or she was born. Whatever date the newspaper gives for your sign, move it back one whole sign, because that, in fact, is your real sign.”

So I guess that makes me a closet-Cancer.

If you’re still not convinced, here’s another whopper.  Astrology only recognizes five planets – Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn. What about Uranus, Neptune and the ill-fated Pluto which is no longer considered a planet? Don’t they matter?

Apparently not. Fr. Pacwa, who was once heavily involved in astrology, says that because these previously unknown planets “are considered to have unknown influences,” astrologers simply make up whatever influences they want these planets to have.

That’s right – they MAKE IT UP.

“As my Bahai astrology teachers often said, ‘Where there is confusion, there is possibility’,” Fr. Pacwa writes.

Not exactly something to stake your life on, is it?

But that won’t stop you from seeing a lot of these benign horoscope predictions while standing in line in the supermarket for the next few weeks – all of them claiming that your future is in the stars.

Trust me, it’s not. These predictions are so generic they can apply to anyone from a hairdresser to a serial killer. And if you think I’m just kidding around, consider the study conducted by The Astronomical Society of the Pacific (astonomy is scientific, astrology is not). In this study, a French statistician named Michel Gauquelin sent a horoscope for one of the worst mass murderers in French history to 150 unsuspecting people who were asked how well it fit them. Believe it or not, 94 percent of the people said they recognized themselves in the description! (What does that say about us as a people, I wonder?)

Bottom line, forget horoscopes. No matter how innocent they may appear, they’re a form of fortune-telling which is strictly forbidden.

Instead, take the advice John Paul II gave in an Angelus address in 1998: “If we want to give good direction to our life, we must learn to discern its plan, by reading the mysterious ‘road signs’ God puts in our daily history. For this purpose neither horoscopes nor fortune-telling is useful. What is needed is prayer, authentic prayer, which should always accompany a life decision made in conformity with God’s law.”

If you know someone who is hooked on the stars, these facts and more are included in our booklet on Astrology which is perfect for evangelizing. Click here for more information!

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