Kate Bryan, a young and successful Catholic businesswoman published a remarkable op-ed in the liberal Washington Post that begins with these words: “My name is Kate. I’m 32 years old. I’ve never had sex.”
According to her September 8 article, the Minnesota-born Senior Account Executive at CRC Public Relations in Alexandria, Virginia says her lifelong dream was to fulfill Jesus’ mandate to “go out and make disciples . . .” by getting married and having 12 children. At the age of 32, she’s still unmarried, but says she’s never been happier as she lives the feminist dream.
“But I love my life. I spent last weekend learning how to scull on the Potomac River. I have good friends, a great family, hobbies and one of the best jobs I’ve ever had,” she writes.
“Do I feel a void because I’m not married and I don’t have children yet? Sure. Do I wish I were having sex? Of course. But I believe that I’m living a fuller, better life because of my commitment to sexual integrity. I spend all day, every day doing the things that I want to do, because I’m not wasting my time worrying about waking up next to a stranger, contracting a sexually transmitted infection or missing a period.”
She adds: “The truth is, I am able to live the feminist dream because I’m not stressing over the things that sex outside of marriage often brings.”
And she’s not alone. Bryan goes on to cite a recent study appearing in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior which found that young people — specifically millennials – are now more than twice as likely to be sexually inactive than the previous generation.
“Although there are many possible causes for this shift, it’s quite reasonable to believe that this generation doesn’t want the stresses that sex outside of marriage brings — unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections, to name a few,” Bryan writes.
“Maybe they realize that a condom doesn’t protect the heart, and that true love is something worth waiting for and fighting for.”
The Steubenville grad, who holds a Masters Degree in Public Affairs and Political Communication, goes on to extol Catholic teaching on chastity which isn’t just about abstaining from sex before marriage.
“Chastity is a lifestyle, centered on freedom and love, that challenges all people to love themselves and to love others in the most perfect way possible.”
She did some serious research of her own on chastity, which resulted in a college thesis entitled, “Chastity in the Modern World and the Fulfillment of Chastity Within the Catholic Church.” It was based on St. John Paul II’s book, Love and Responsibility which asserts that every human being is a sexual being, but we’re also rational beings, which means we don’t have to be mastered by our physical desires.
Instead, we must let love be the master, always aiming to love ourselves and others in the most perfect way possible.
“This is chastity in its fullness,” she writes.
Bryan goes on to encourage people to see the practice of virtue as if it’s a new sport or skill to acquire.
“I didn’t just decide to be a master rower and naturally row down the Potomac. I took an intense sculling course and then spent hours upon hours practicing on the water — and I’m still only in the beginner stages. There wasn’t a single Olympian who simply showed up in Rio and won gold. Like sports, virtue takes practice, failure and perseverance.”
Some days will be better than others, but the key to success is to “remain faithful and persevere, especially in difficult moments,” she advises.
“While I didn’t get my early marriage or my 12 kids or my big house with a white picket fence, my commitment to sexual integrity has allowed me the freedom to live the life that I want. I am living the life that feminists throughout history fought for,” she concludes.
“Through the virtue of chastity — true freedom and the perfection of love — I am living the feminist dream.”
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